I was in an abusive relationship… with food.

by | Jan 2, 2014 | Getting Real: The Blog


For years.
It was the subtext to my life.

There was the ‘me’ that everyone saw… and there was the ‘me’ that was embroiled in the struggle with food/body image/self-sabotage.

  • I was the binge eater… sneaking food at night as a teen, and trying to rearrange the contents of the pantry, or cookie box, to make it look like I hadn’t been there.
  • I was the grazer… eating all through the day, to damp down surfacing emotions. And justifying to myself, that it was only a handful here or there. Anyway… eating standing up doesn’t count, does it?
  • I was the bulimic… ducking out to the bathroom, to purge my last meal, or last binge, and writing it off as a ‘difficult stomach’, when questioned.
  • I was the anorexic… practicing severe food restriction at different points in my life – believing the lie that control over my food equalled control over my life. And believing the deeper lie that it wasn’t safe to exist here.

It took me years… decades… to find my path out; to find healing. For too long I tried doing it on my own. That’s the hard way. (Not what I’d recommend)

It’s a journey that I’m still on. And will probably will be on for the duration of my life.
For whatever reason, (and I’ve filed multiple protests about this) food is part of my curriculum here.

I’ve lived with it in hell.
And I’ve crawled out of that hell, and am now living a life that I couldn’t have imagined was possible.

I’ve learned… from my failures… from my successes… from many others who have also walked this path… and I no longer fear, dread, or fight with it.
It’s become one of my teachers… one of my ‘early warning signals’ that keeps me out of deeper life trouble.

Last year, my partner and best friend, Jeff, asked me why I wasn’t offering a program to other women who struggle with food?
Though I’ve worked with many, many women and men around this issue, one-on-one, it had never occurred to me to develop and offer a program here.
When I asked myself why… I saw that I was still ashamed that it was part of my story.

Now… I’ve got QUITE a colorful story, and it takes a bunch to make me cringe. But this still did.
So I faced it.
Wrapped my arms around that part of me, and gave her a voice – to reach out to other women who still struggle here.

That voice became the Real Women… Real Bodies… Real Life! program, which I offered for the first time last April.
And I’m offering it again, starting this January 7th.

This ISN’T about diet… restriction… performance… or a ‘right’ way to do things.

This is about YOU.

  • Moving from shame to compassion.
  • Discovering YOUR definition of beauty, and living that NOW.
  • Celebrating what works for you.
  • Discovering the messages behind why you eat, and learning how to address them.
  • It’s about changing your starting point.
  • And feeling better now.

I know the road you walk.
And I know how to help you find your way out.
From one sojourner to another… I’m offering my hand.
If this speaks to you, I invite you to come sign up, and begin the healing.

With love and compassion…


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